Loss/Grief

     Today's post was going to be on loss/grief, but then I looked to see what the date was and then realized that it ties into the topic for today.

    Today marks 19 years since the devastating attack on the Twin Towers by al-Qaeda. It was a horrific day for the United States and for thousands of people who lost loved ones because of the attack. There were over 2,977 deaths and over 25,000 injuries that were sustained from being in the Towers at the time of the attack. There wasn't just workers who died in the blast, but also firefighters and law enforcement who perished as well. 343 firefighters and 72 law enforcement officers died as well. The World Trade Center along with the Pentagon were attacked as well. 2,606 died in the World Trade Center and 125 died at the Pentagon. (By the way I'm getting these numbers from Wikipedia). We remember this day as something really horrible and I hope that those of you who had lost loved ones in the attack whether that was on the two planes or in the Towers themselves are being surrounded by love and comfort as you look back on today. 

When things like this happen, whether that is a terrorist attack/war or from a sickness, we should be there for each other during the grieving process, so that we don't have to be alone during it. Loss is something that we all experience at one time or another and we all experience grief in different ways. There are 5 stages of grief and they are: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. We don't necessarily experience all of these stages in this particular order and not all at the same time. Denial is when we pretend that the loss isn't happening, anger happens when you hide your actual emotions and lash out at things or people because our feelings are way to intense at the moment, bargaining is when we look for ways to regain control an event, depression is self-explanatory, and there is acceptance where we finally accepted that the loss happened.

Its okay to feel any type of grief and its okay to cry if needed. You don't have to hold your emotions inside because that isn't healthy to do and eventually you are going to have to let those emotions out. For you guys out there it is okay for you to cry if you're upset. It doesn't make you any less of a man or a sissy or weak if you cry because crying can sometimes make things better. If you have friends who are going to make fun of you because you cry you shouldn't be friends with them. Find people who are going to be there for you no matter what. Crying is a sign of strength not weakness. When you're upset its alright if you let your emotions out because if you keep them inside sooner or later you aren't going to have a choice, but it won't be a good sort of outburst.

Going through a loss is going to be sad and hard, but eventually you will be able to look back on what happened with a smile. It will still be sad when you think about it, but it won't be as overwhelming. 5 months ago I lost my great-grandma to a stroke and it was really hard having to go through that. It is still sad because it hasn't been that long since she passed away, but it is a little easier now. There are still times when I think about things that happened when she was alive and that is okay because that just means I'm remembering the good times that I had with her. 

All our feelings are valid and anyone can experience them in a healthy manner. Crying isn't a weakness by any means no matter if someone says it is. You don't have to pretend to be strong if you're not. If it becomes really overwhelming and its hard to get through get help. You can see a counselor/therapist or talk to a friend about what you are feeling. I always tell all my friends that if they ever need someone to talk to or just to listen then they can come to me because it can feel like nobody cares about what you are going through, but I will care. I will offer any support I can in order to try to help in any way I can. I might not have the words to say, but I will listen and I will try my hardest to comfort them.

Its okay to not be okay and its okay to remove (isolate) yourself when something hard happens, but you shouldn't do that for a very long time because if you don't have people who are able to be there for you in your grief then eventually you will break down from not talking to people. You need to be able to process what happened, but you also need to get past it in a way that isn't going to be detrimental to you. Journal about it or go see a counselor because if you do that then things will get easier for you.