I have never related to a song more than this song right now. Before I get into it I just wanna say that this is a really good song and the artist is amazing. Check him out if you haven’t already.
“And just like beforeI can see that you're sureYou can change him but I know you won't
The devil doesn't bargainHe'll only break your heart againIt isn't worth it, darlingHe's never gonna changeHe'll never be Prince CharmingHe'll only do you harm again.”
Last Wednesday night (the 29th) my boyfriend of 3 years and nine months broke up with me. I’m having a hard time dealing with it, but the thing is when we started to experience issues I tried so hard to keep us together because I was hopeful that this time things would be better. Yes. I said this time. We have dated before and it didn’t end well, but when we broke up that time I was in another state and the long distance made things worse so I had to end things.
This time we agreed to a second chance cause I moved back to my hometown, so I thought that being in the same place would make it easier. At first I was right. Things were good, but then out of nowhere we started having issues that steadily got worse. When it came to my feelings I felt super invalidated and anytime I would bring up how something that he was doing was hurtful he would either shut me down or deflect. Eventually our communication shut down in the sense where before we were calling each other basically every night to about once a week.
In a sense the break up wasn’t a surprise, but it still hurts. It hurts, not only because we aren’t together anymore, but the timing of it sucked. The 26th was our 3 year and 9 month anniversary, he broke up with me on the 29th, and then April 1 was the 3 year anniversary of my great-grandma’s passing plus I had to work that day. I know at some point things will be alright and I will (hopefully, but I don’t really care at this point) find someone who fully accepts me for me.
I was trying so hard to keep us together and doing whatever I could to make things better, but he refused to do any work whatsoever to change things. He didn’t want to put any work in, even though he kept saying multiple times that he would, so it seemed like he didn’t really care about me or the relationship. What made it worse was that he broke up with me on a phone call instead of in person, which I hate, but there is nothing that I can do about that.
Relationships are difficult.
